Life... directions... hmmm... That's a hard one. My sister says that these things don't matter while you are living life in it's fulness. I can't seem to to let go...
Life is a strange thing. It seems whenever you set yourself in a specific direction, you do a three sixty and all of a sudden your sitting on the opposite side of the bank... Not sure how you got there... Not sure how to get back... Not sure if you want to. Then there are the times that you only get halfway across that river, you can't quite commit to what's ahead, yet you can't make up your mind whether you want to go back. Maybe those are the times that you just let the river carry you in a completely different direction. The problem for me then becomes... drowning... Sometimes I don't know if I can handle whats downriver. Could be good... however, if it's not quite as good, you don't know if you can get back... Then you start wondering what you've left behind.
Roads, Streets, Paths... Directions. Which one to take, Which way to go. Sometimes I think it's better to just close your eyes and go. Takes the decision out of your hands... So you can kinda say you didn't really make the decision... It's not your fault. We all know that's a lie. A foolish imagining. The truth is, that nobody can make that decision but you! No one! Ever! Oh people might be able to influence you, but no matter where you end up, you are the only one to blame. You acted! Therefore, your responsibility. Now you just have to figure out where you want to end up right now, you may regret it later but the decision has to be made... whether a good decision... or bad.
Hmmm............ Here comes the hard part. All your wonderings on life... All your decisions that your trying to make... It all comes to a climax. The pivotal moment of no return. Can you turn your back on one thing and move to another. Or maybe your back was already turned... maybe you were never headed in that direction in the first place. But something... curiousity... temptations... stopped you in your tracks for a moment. A moment that was suspended in midair... unmoving. But no matter what directions your facing, or how long you've been suspended. Eventually the wheel needs to start turning again. Life goes on, more decisions are made, and everything is constantly changing. I guess once the decisions been made, you learn to live with it. Even if you don't like where you've ended up you need to make the best of it. Question is, are you the type of person that needs a plan? Here's the tricky thing about life, plans never work! For the most part, Life.. Human Nature.. The world. It's to unpredictable, to malleable. We're always gonna have to figure it out... on our own...
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Pieces of You
"You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you..." -Neil Gaiman
Barrier- Tall, wide, and thick. A protection... a separation... between you and another entity. The barrrier shouldn't move, and it shouldn't bend, but will stand. A man made beacon, a warning. Do not cross, it whispers. But what man creates, man can also destroy. Some barriers, physical or mental, can be overcome by force. Yet others just need a little hole, a tiny weakness. And if the opportunity presents itself, your carefully constructed barrier will come crashing down, leaving you worse off than you were when you first started.
Person- That one person that caught your attention. A person you've never met before, but that performs one simple act. It grabs your attention and draws you in. Nothing really sets these few select people apart from the rest of the world. But somehow, in your mind, they are different. Special... or maybe just dangerous.
Heart- The heart is an independent and resilient force. Unpredictable, yet able to take precedence over the logic of the mind. A soft beating that can turn from Ice to Flame and back again, without much provocation. Though protected by skin, bone, and muscle, the heart can be ripped to shreds without being physically touched. But it can also be sewn back together without needle or thread. No matter how much you fight it, your heart wants to be given. Regardless of the possibility of being completely and utterly destroyed... It's a risk... One we have to take.
Barrier- Tall, wide, and thick. A protection... a separation... between you and another entity. The barrrier shouldn't move, and it shouldn't bend, but will stand. A man made beacon, a warning. Do not cross, it whispers. But what man creates, man can also destroy. Some barriers, physical or mental, can be overcome by force. Yet others just need a little hole, a tiny weakness. And if the opportunity presents itself, your carefully constructed barrier will come crashing down, leaving you worse off than you were when you first started.
Person- That one person that caught your attention. A person you've never met before, but that performs one simple act. It grabs your attention and draws you in. Nothing really sets these few select people apart from the rest of the world. But somehow, in your mind, they are different. Special... or maybe just dangerous.
Heart- The heart is an independent and resilient force. Unpredictable, yet able to take precedence over the logic of the mind. A soft beating that can turn from Ice to Flame and back again, without much provocation. Though protected by skin, bone, and muscle, the heart can be ripped to shreds without being physically touched. But it can also be sewn back together without needle or thread. No matter how much you fight it, your heart wants to be given. Regardless of the possibility of being completely and utterly destroyed... It's a risk... One we have to take.
Definitions - Falling
Falling off of something
You know that feeling when you fall backwards? That split second of anxiety, when your mind goes "oh crap!" Usually it's very quick, by the time you register the panic of falling, you've already fallen... My point is that it's uncontrollable. You didn't mean to fall, and really there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to let gravity take you because no matter what you do, your already going down. I guess the best you can do is hope you don't get hurt. Or if there is the small chance that you can correct your body just right to prevent as little harm as possible. The trick to that one seems to be rolling, as long as you keep yourself moving not all of the momentum you've gained stops right at once. I wonder what would happen if you fell off a large cliff... would you get past the panic as your waiting? Or would the moment seem to speed up and the panic just grow... maybe that thought is to morbid. One thing for certain is that you fall from to high, theres no saving yourself. There's no preventing injury... you fall from to high... and your not getting back up. Thing is, you thought you had control. You weren't expecting it, maybe even if you knew the drop was there. You just thought there was no way you'd actually fall. Because you knew it was there, and you knew where you stood. However, somewhere along the way you got distracted...
Falling in Love
You know that feeling when you realize you love someone? That split second of anxiety, when your mind either registers joy or you think "oh crap!" Love can be very quick, by the time you register the panic of giving yourself to that one person and leaving yourself vulnerable, you've already fallen... My point is that love is uncontrollable. You didn't mean to fall, and really there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to let those feelings take you because no matter what you do, your already going down. I guess the best you can do is hope you don't get hurt. Or if there is the small chance that you can direct your life just right to prevent as little harm as possible. The trick to that one seems to be filling your time, keeping yourself busy. As long as you keep yourself moving you don't realize all of moments and feelings have stopped right at once. I wonder what would happen if you knew the relationship was doomed from the beginning... would you get past the panic as your waiting for it to end? Or would the moments all seem to speed up and the panic grow... maybe that thought is to pessimistic. One thing for certain is that if you get to involved, there might be no saving yourself. There's no preventing injury... you fall from to high... and your not getting back up. Thing is, you thought you had control. You just weren't expecting it, maybe even if you knew the risk was there. You just thought there was no way you'd actually fall. Because you knew where you stood. However, somewhere along the way you got distracted...
But...
What if that someone, that your falling so hard and fast for... Is there to catch you...
You know that feeling when you fall backwards? That split second of anxiety, when your mind goes "oh crap!" Usually it's very quick, by the time you register the panic of falling, you've already fallen... My point is that it's uncontrollable. You didn't mean to fall, and really there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to let gravity take you because no matter what you do, your already going down. I guess the best you can do is hope you don't get hurt. Or if there is the small chance that you can correct your body just right to prevent as little harm as possible. The trick to that one seems to be rolling, as long as you keep yourself moving not all of the momentum you've gained stops right at once. I wonder what would happen if you fell off a large cliff... would you get past the panic as your waiting? Or would the moment seem to speed up and the panic just grow... maybe that thought is to morbid. One thing for certain is that you fall from to high, theres no saving yourself. There's no preventing injury... you fall from to high... and your not getting back up. Thing is, you thought you had control. You weren't expecting it, maybe even if you knew the drop was there. You just thought there was no way you'd actually fall. Because you knew it was there, and you knew where you stood. However, somewhere along the way you got distracted...
Falling in Love
You know that feeling when you realize you love someone? That split second of anxiety, when your mind either registers joy or you think "oh crap!" Love can be very quick, by the time you register the panic of giving yourself to that one person and leaving yourself vulnerable, you've already fallen... My point is that love is uncontrollable. You didn't mean to fall, and really there's nothing you can do about it. You just have to let those feelings take you because no matter what you do, your already going down. I guess the best you can do is hope you don't get hurt. Or if there is the small chance that you can direct your life just right to prevent as little harm as possible. The trick to that one seems to be filling your time, keeping yourself busy. As long as you keep yourself moving you don't realize all of moments and feelings have stopped right at once. I wonder what would happen if you knew the relationship was doomed from the beginning... would you get past the panic as your waiting for it to end? Or would the moments all seem to speed up and the panic grow... maybe that thought is to pessimistic. One thing for certain is that if you get to involved, there might be no saving yourself. There's no preventing injury... you fall from to high... and your not getting back up. Thing is, you thought you had control. You just weren't expecting it, maybe even if you knew the risk was there. You just thought there was no way you'd actually fall. Because you knew where you stood. However, somewhere along the way you got distracted...
But...
What if that someone, that your falling so hard and fast for... Is there to catch you...
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